John Bunyan - Torment

Introduction
The most famous puritan of all time without doubt is John Bunyan. His book Pilgrims Progress is unmatched as a spectacular allegory and masterpiece. This first post is all about what happened before John was saved. I personally once thought that I was dammed like Cain, Esau and Judas and my biggest fear like John Bunyan's was that I had committed the unpardonable sin.

John Bunyan Early Years (1628)
John Bunyan was born 1628 in Bedfordshire where the puritan spirit was the highest. From early on his imagination was so strong some accounts say he was nearly driven insane. He was even tormented by fiends flying in his dreams trying to kill him.

Longing to Be Saved
In his early years he though the only way to be saved was to be of Israelite blood and thought somehow his linage was thus and hence saved. His Father though quickly put a stop to this lie as he had no ambition to be regarded as a Jew. In those times of revival many were saved in the Bedford shire but John thought he was to late and the Spirit had left him unconverted.

Struggle with Faith
"If I have not faith, I am lost; if I have faith, I can work miracles." So John was tempted to cry to the puddles "Be Ye Dry" and if they dried up he had faith but if not he was lost forever. (They didn't dry up)

Praying to everyone but Jesus
Soon he thought perhaps there was truth in other areas then the bible so he prayed to the trees, a broomstick and the parish bull. These childish scenarios made up in his mind led to an extreme struggle with sin.

Hell Was Upon Him
John thought all his efforts were useless and he felt himself entering into the valley of the Shadow of death where darkness and gloom grew thick. Sounds of cursing and wailing were constantly in his ears.

Unpardonable Sin
His thoughts were of dread that somehow he must have committed the unpardonable sin and verbally he renounced any hope he may have in redemption which he thought also condemned him for blasphemy.

Esau
Over nights and days at tables even at work he heard evil spirits in his ears saying "Sell Him Sell Him" He then thought he was the same as Esau and had sold his birthright and like Esau though he sought for repentance with tears it was all in-vain. His lot was not to be accursed.

Cain
As he trembled he thought himself to be the worst of reprobates and envied even the tiles and stones for they would never go through his approaching torture. His stress was overpowering and he was unable to eat. While trembling he thought the same sign that God had put on Cain was ever present on him.

Judas
His pain was so overpowering that any moment he expected to be burst open like Judas. The more he remembered and read of Judas in the scripture the more he thought Judas to be his prototype.

John Bunyan's Conversation with a Holy Man
His stress was such that he went to a man regarded for his piety and John pouring out his inner torment exclaimed "I am afraid that I have committed the sin against the Holy Ghost" At such a fragile time in Johns life this man offered him his harsh fanatic opinion: "I am afraid that you have"

More to come